I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
