what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
