wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
