brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
