Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
