I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
