They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
