Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
