I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
