I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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