Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(519): View more from Ontario

I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke

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(250): View more from British Columbia

Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.

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(314): View more from Missouri

She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.

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(630): View more from Illinois

He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.

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(613): View more from Ontario

So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone

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(614): View more from Ohio

Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.

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