playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
