oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
