I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
