Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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