well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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