sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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