would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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