Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize