Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize