Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
