It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
