just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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