i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
