just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
