i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
