If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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