i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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