i need an iv and a liver transplant
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize