so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
