just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Someone came in the potted fern
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
