You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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