Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Randomize
