i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
