It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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