I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
