My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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