Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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