I just pynch a tree in the face
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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