I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Randomize
