Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
