I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
You took a bar mat shot.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
