It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
