Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
