He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
