READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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