Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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