How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
