put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
