You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
