Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
