I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
