Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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