how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
