Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
