You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
