Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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