Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
