So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
