Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
