btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
