I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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